i don't know what to do
but to comfrot you
to turn you voer
to the side i don't want to
"be with her" i said
be with the enemy
the imaginary enemy
or is it
the pain i'm causing myself
the desirous perfection
the angel
lucifer
burn myself in extreme brightness until
i fall
darkness is an understatement
no one understands
that coldness of hell
when you muttered
"i cared about her, for so long"
the years i wish i could compare
discoloring
maybe i believe too much
in what was non existent
the heartache
what i was looking for
a good heartache that was worth
me going back to that path
of destructiveness
the openness that is self destructive
i never learn
just caring
i just want to care
and love
oh yes i've said it
and love
the dart right in the
target
the red heart
pumping pumping pumping
or is it still
when will i stop giving
when the heart
turns ashes
just pure ashes, cremated
nothing can be burnt no more
only instant pleasure pleases
or numb to just accept
and not love
not you
not this red heart